Tales from the Crevices of My Heart

Bear with me a second... March 6, 2021: First anniversary of Janine's passing March 9, 2021: Tristan's 20th birthday March 10, 2021: 20th anniversary of my mother-in-law passing (Yes, she suddenly left us the day after our son was born. That's a story for another blog post.) And now, March 8, 2021: Helen passes away That's a lot of dates all close together that all give me pause. I think I need a spa day in the woods with my notebook to process it all. So this is what the week has been about. Losses with a celebration sandwiched in between the quiet moments of reflection and the sadness of losing another dearly beloved soul. I am not a sad person, honestly I'm not. But I am a bit sad this week, underneath my smile. I am someone who loves life and all that it has to offer, but I also know that with loving greatly can come great loss. This causes tears and stops you in your tracks as you go about your daily life. I miss my friends who brought me great moments of joy a...

When I came back to the classroom after a 14 year hiatus, I was hoping for not only great connections with students, but also the kind of life long friendships I had from my first school. These coworkers of a decade and a half ago were authentic, deep, I-got-your-back-no-matter-what kind or coworkers, no questions asked. It was and continues to be a beautiful thing. I struggled to reinsert myself in a career that had changed so much since I was a part of it, and I longed, for my own sanity, to find that same unconditional work friendship love. My journey brought me to that friendship when I met Janine in September of 2016. I came to my new school when middle school teams had just been shuffled around and all the best teacher cliques had been broken up for fresh starts. Many of my new colleagues were not happy with the changes, but what did I know? I was hired as a leave replacement for a young woman, who I quickly found out, was not a desired team member, but this has nothing to do wit...

The sun is in your eyes. The sun is in your eyes. Throw me the cold Throw me the cold, cold water of your smile again. A song by Jacob Collier, one of my son’s favorite artists. These words echo in my head today as I try to unravel my emotions. My son taught himself this beautiful song last weekend and sent me a video of himself singing it via text. He sent it after a rough work day. I called to talk to him and he was busy with college things. He later recorded himself singing this song and at the end he said, “I love you, Mom.” I cried a little, or maybe a lot, because I miss him so much sometimes.  He’s a caring guy. And then this weekend, my daughter came home for three days. Her birthday is next week, so we were able to celebrate her twenty-fourth  birthday together.  It was a delightful visit  filled with neck massages, laughter, and some deep conversation too. We covered all the bases. How’s your life out in Pittsburgh?  Which grad school do you WANT to a...