Chance Meeting

Today at church, Kyle asked us to think about where we have seen God at work this past week and share. Right away, I thought, I'm not sure I've really seen God this week. Much of what is dominating my thoughts recently is that there's a war going on in the Ukraine!

And then another thought came to me.

I saw God at work in the ISS room on Friday!  

In School Suspension, aka ISS, is the place kids go when they have crossed over some line or forgotten that their actions have consequences. I have duty there during 8th grade lunchtime on Fridays. Often there is a "customer" as we sometimes say, because by the end of the week, well, we all lose track of what we're doing!

This is where I met Darius*, an 8th grader who had just recently moved into our school district from Trenton, which is a very urban district plagued with urban problems. 

I walked into my "customer" hard-core sleeping. I roused him because ISS is not for sleeping, although it is a boring place. He was reluctant at first and not exactly excited to talk with me but eventually we began a conversation. I'm not one for awkward silence and I wasn't about to ignore a human sitting in front of me. I'm not sure what it was, but I felt compelled to talk with Darius, a student I hadn't met until now.

I quickly learned that Darius had recently moved in with his great uncle as his guardian. His uncle was trying to help straighten his path out. He told me of his dad "who isn't the best dad, but he tries" and of his uncle who has taken him under his wing.  He told me of how there are five of them, all with different moms except for his one sister who lives on her own at 19 years of age in Delaware. She and he are full blooded siblings. He spoke of Facetiming his 6 year old brother (who still lives in Trenton) and hiding his own tears so his little brother wouldn't know how much Darius truly misses living with him. 

"You have to hide your true feelings underneath. You can't let people see you cry or know that you are really depressed." 

I asked if he was depressed. He said "Yes, but you don't show that to people. That's why I just do my best to keep going." He spoke of seeing way more than he should have at his age. How it's hard to get out from all the struggles that come in our path, but he was determined to rise above and either become a professional athlete or find a good job where he could help others. He wasn't sure if college was his jam. He reflected on his ongoing struggle to make good choices yet he was fully aware of his self-sabotage. His honesty about this impressed me and made me admire him and want to know more. We talked about emotions and how to manage them in a world that doesn't make that concept easy to do.

He was wise to the world in a way I've never had to be wise. Kids growing up with social media is a way of life I've not had to live. He made me think about my skin color and how it had served me without me even realizing it.

After a bit, our conversation became natural and easy and I felt a rapport and connection with Darius. I felt myself listening to his story and becoming his cheerleader, feeling that if I believe enough in him, he'll be able to make it out of his youth alive and successful. 

It is during conversations like these, real-life, authentic, heart to heart conversations that I wonder about equity.  It's in conversations like this that I see how God is at work, helping us to open our eyes, see the world around us and challenge our beliefs and what we think is true. 

When I left ISS on Friday, I believed that Darius would overcome his struggles, that he would be able to rise above the road that had been full of obstacles and bad choices. I came to care for this young man in the matter of my 35 minutes in an unconventional setting. 

I saw God in my chance meeting with Darius. He made sure our paths crossed to teach me something. I am listening and grateful. We all need to listen more and talk less.

You got this, Darius!

*The name of this student has been changed to protect his privacy.